Arrested Development

I just bought a set of major appliances. A washer and dryer to be precise. I might add, this was my first purchase of a major appliance. I felt like such a grown-up. Those of you who know me might find that odd since, as I am knocking on the door of 40 (an age some people actually consider "over the hill"), I have been a grown-up for rather a while.

But consider the usual rites of passage into adulthood. Home ownership. Marriage. Children. Major appliance purchases. Responsible employment. I have managed to avoid pretty much all of those for a very long time. That goes a long way toward demonstrating the old adage, "age is just a number; you're only as old as you feel." Many days I just don't really feel grown up.

Don't get me wrong-- I have certainly shouldered enough adult responsibilities. I vote, pay taxes and other bills, keep a roof over my head, contribute toward my (ha!) retirement, try to earn my keep, etc. And my friends are "grown-ups" with houses and children etc., so it's not like I don't have a peripheral/vicarious experience of all of that. But that feeling of being a "fully actualized" grown-up only comes in flashes-- like today, when I bought my laundry appliances. Or when I think it's time to seriously think about buying a house (which I'm doing again). Or when my friends talk to me about their young adult children and/or grandchildren. Or when people I knew as very young children invite me to their weddings.

Now that I'm in school again, I spend a lot of time around people who are somewhat to considerably younger than me. They will tell you that one of my popular refrains is "... because/but I'm old." I don't say it to get sympathy. I figure if I say it enough, I might convince myself.

Oh well.