...leeeeeet me goooo. Yeah, it's a song. Pretend I'm singing.
So here's the mea culpa. I haven't been posting because I've been undecided about whether or not to address my big project, namely, weight releasing. Weight
loss is what it's usually called, but I've decided not to call it that anymore. Mostly because just about anything I ever lose, I find. Weight is something I'd rather not find again.
Assuming I continue to lose it. I mean,
release it. See, here's the thing. If you all know I'm on a reduction program, and the next time you see me, I look just like I did the
last time you saw me, that makes me a loser. And not in the now bad, formerly good way.
Now, one could look at this as incentive or added accountability. Or one could be me and look at it as yet one more thing to fear. Or (another or), one could look at it as one of the myriad reasons why previous attempts at (see, here's how this works) weight loss didn't work.
The other thing is that it was never my intent for this to become a blog about weight release. But, as I said, the blog is about me and my ideas and experiences. This little journey of mine is taking up rather a large parcel of my life's real estate. Ergo, from time to time this blog will traverse the territory of my new job.
That said, the stats so far:
-Started January 5 (nothing like pictures of Christmas Past to jumpstart Christmas Future).
-Pounds released as of this morning, 38.5 (More than a 3-year old-- thanks Anlyn!).
-The program?
Quick Weight Loss Center (can't change the name).
-The plan? Lots of protein, fruits and vegetables, moderated fats, sugar and salt. Some voodoo supplements thrown in for good measure.
-How long? Active weight reduction for 1 year followed by stabilization or maintenance.
-Why this just might work this time? Aside from quite literally losing some emotional baggage at the airport last Christmas, there is the little manner of my great propensity for
parsimony. As a few of you might now, other than as regards gifts for others or accessories for myself, I am a tightwad. I hate spending and particularly wasting money. Which is not to say that I have not done a fair amount of that in my lifetime (a conundrum for a future post). But, one of the cheeky parts of this "program" is that they make you pay for it up front. It's cheap on a week-to-week basis, but for a whole year in one chunk? Not so much. And besides not wanting to face 40 the way I faced 22-39, one of my beloved Aunties tells me that 2007 is a
year of completion. So there.
Thus begins my
year of magical thinking (with all due respect and apologies to Joan Didion).
Why magical thinking? Because this is what the program is
really costing me. Unfettered access to Chick-Fil-A, alcohol and sugar. Life with no planning (and therefore, no responsibility). The ability to not examine the finer details of my life and motives. Dying early and in decrepitude. Hmm. Maybe not so magical after all.
In other news? With the various Spring Breaks (the bonus of two, the negation of their being at different times), I have been watching
waaay too much TV. I have a deeper insight into how sane people become psychos. If you watch enough TV, you begin to believe that you can predict the future. This may just be me, in which case it is proof either of my brilliance or the dearth of good writing. And all the positive self-esteem in the world won't keep me from believing it's the latter.
I try to kick myself for not being more productive. I know I will do so in a month or two when I am truly snowed under. But in my more rational moments I realize that this is the space (shall we say
comma) that will get me through the oncoming blizzard.
You are getting sleepy. I have to use the 9th wonder of the world (that would be the George Foreman Grill) to make dinner. That's right— me, cooking. Take that, past life!
